We Made it Through the Day...

We survived:)

Yesterday was a big day for everyone. First, Lane started a new job at an architecture firm. He's still working on the Pentagon project, just on a different aspect of it with a different company. He's working with guys he already knows and likes, and instead of having meetings everyday at SIX in the morning, he doesn't even have to be at work until 8:30. And, his office is just a short walk from mine. The best part, though is that we are both going to work around the same time every day! This is huge! For the whole 8.5 years we've been married, one of us has been asleep when the other left for work.

I was especially glad for Lane's new schedule yesterday because it meant he could go with me to drop off Gabriela at daycare. I came with several extra things I probably didn't need to leave with her, including her Ergo Baby Carrier and yes, I gave not one, but two demonstrations on how to use it (in my defense, they were to different people), and as soon as it got close to time for us to leave, I burst into tears. Thank goodness I saw this coming like 50 miles away and made sure I didn't wear any eye make up yesterday. We kissed Gabriela goodbye, Lane got me some tissues, and held my hand and we went off to work together. I did it. It wasn't easy. at all.

I cried a couple more times at work, especially when people asked what it was like leaving Gabriela at daycare. I also called a couple times to check in on her. Each time they said she was happy, she took her naps and bottles without any fuss and she was playing. I had such mixed feelings about the reports I got. Of course I was relieved she was doing so well. But then I felt a little bad that she didn't even miss her own mommy. On the other hand, I would have been really upset if she had been fussy and crying all morning. AND, I hate to say it, but I also wonder if she was really as happy as they said she was. It's not like Gabriela is going to come home and tell me she cried her eyes out all day.

I felt like a little kid waiting for Christmas by the end of the day. I was practically giddy - I couldn't wait to see my baby girl!! As I walked from the metro stop, I felt like my feet just couldn't get me there fast enough. When I arrived, Gabriela was busily playing with another little girl and seemed very happy.

It felt normal to be back at work. Of course, I missed Gabriela like crazy. Sometimes I would kind of zone out and think just about her, or contemplate how many times is considered reasonable to call the daycare to check up on her. I think I can get back into the swing of things.

I am getting the hang of this whole pumping thing. I'm lucky we have a lactation room at my work. It's a special room with big arm chairs and curtains that you can close around you. There's a fridge for breastmilk and a sink and restroom, and even a TV and bulletin board with mommy stuff and pictures of the cutie babies.

I feel like I can get back into the work routine; but it's not going to be easy. I have to do this, though. The plus side is how excited I am to see Gabriela and how much I appreciate our sweet time together. She's going to make new friends and learn some Spanish at daycare, so that's good too.

I'm just glad today is Veteran's Day and we both get to stay home. It makes for an easier transition.

I think (and hope) it will get easier over time.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement!!