Splash Pad

One of the days when Lane was off from work we went to a splash pad park with some of our homeschool friends.  It's hard to stay sad when you have this love of life and amazing energy to watch.

 Easton was really hesitant to get in the water until his daddy decided to jump in and get wet right along with him.  Lane spun Easton around and gave him airplane rides so Easton flew through the tunnels and sprinklers and finally ended up wet, having fun the whole time.

I couldn't be more thankful for Gabriela and Easton and how they are pulling us through this grieving process so powerfully, without even realizing it.

A Garden

A couple days after Simone died, my brothers helped Lane get some of our yard ready and then build a garden bed in memory of Simone.  Tim took the Gabriela and his girls to pick out some flowers each and they picked some other plants as well. 

A couple days later, when Claire, Natalie, Chaney and Beau were visiting along with Auntie Liss and Auntie Adie, they put that garden together.

 

 With six kids trampling through the garden bed and all trying to plant things at once, it wasn't quite as ceremonious as our tree planting. But the important part was that the cousins were able to be there and help assemble that little garden.

It looks much different now.  We acquired some tomato plants and since we didn't have another garden bed yet, Lane planted them in our garden bed. Then the plants exploded.  They are huge!!  And the chickens noticed them, so we had to put chicken wire all around the garden.

I'm glad Simone helped get us into gear and finally plant a garden like we've been talking about for ages.

Trying to get back to normal

Normal? What is that anyway? We don't quite know what it is for us anymore.  But last week was the first week that I decided to get out and about with just the kiddos and me.

We went to a friend's house for a delightful playdate including chicken chasing, goat petting, holding baby chicks, drawing in the camper trailer, and making barrettes.  WOW!  The kids had a blast, and G's friend gifted her a sweet necklace with an "S" for Simone.  Wednesday, we had some dear friends over to our house, Thursday, my parents and aunt and uncle came for a visit, and I took the kids to the library. Friday was park day and then our Family Fun night which usually includes watching a movie.

Saturday it was off to Gilroy where the kids spent the day with Grandma and Grandpa at Gilroy Gardens while us grown ups enjoyed a wine stroll with Nate and Meliss and Noal and Elizabeth.  Yep, we had some real live grown up time. It was such a treat.  After dinner out with these lovelies, we headed back to the house where the kids finished a movie before driving back home so we could get back in the car and visit Heather.  We spent the day there watching the kids play in the pool, catching up on baby Linden's birth story, and trying to help out a little.

It feels comforting and strange at the same time to resume our regular activities. Every day I wonder how it would be if Simone were here with us.  I feel uncomfortable when I feel like things are okay. because how can they be? We are supposed to have a baby in our arms, who is constantly growing, starting to smile, interacting with her big brother and sister.  Gabriela, that sweet girl of mine, asks me regularly what Simone would be doing if she were here with us.  It's so sweet - Would she be in the moby wrap, Mom? If Simone were here, would she cry a lot? And the real kicker from the other night, Did Simone know how much we love her?  And I told her of course she did.  She could hear us talking to her, singing to her, reading her stories. We all loved her so much, how could she NOT feel that love?

I'm so glad Gabriela thinks of her sister as often and as sweetly as she does.  I don't ever want Gabriela to think that it's not okay or appropriate to talk about her sister. Simone is a part of our family and we can honor and love her and her memory by not treating her death and very short presence with us as a forbidden topic.