Remembering my Nana

Last night, as I lay in bed with Gabriela, she asked who made the afghan on her bed.  It was my Nana. This led to all sorts of questions like when did she die? Why did she die? Where was she when she died? What happened? What did her voice sound like right before she died?

I explained that she lived a long happy life, but her body got very old and sick, and she was in the hospital.  This happened shortly - like the same month- I moved to Washington DC. I knew this would be the last chance I'd have to see my Nana so I flew out to visit with her in the hospital, to hold her hand, and how, even in her sickness, she was sure to be a good hostess, and introduce me to the nursing staff as her granddaughter who came all the way from Washington DC to see her. And my Nana's voice was weak and tiny and fragile when I said goodbye to her. I explained how, I wasn't there, but my parents were and some of my siblings, surrounding my Nana in her house when she closed her eyes and took her last breath.  Gabriela asked if people cried.  Of course we cried, even Papa and her uncles cried.  I told her how I got up on a stage and read a poem for my Nana at her funeral, because she had requested that I do so, and how I cried when I was done reading it.

Gabriela, my sweet, sweet girl got all teary eyed, said she just felt so sad for me and began to cry. She told me that she wanted to write a letter to my Nana, even though she knew that my Nana couldn't read her letter.

I only responded to the questions Gabriela asked, trying only to answer what she was asking about, but she asked a lot of questions.  She asked if she ever met my Nana and I explained that even though she hadn't, my Nana still loved her.  That she crocheted a baby blanket (six) years before Gabriela was even born, and that we brought her home from the hospital in that blanket, how her middle name is my Nana's name, and how my Nana touched every bit of that blanket that keeps her warm and snuggly at night.


I told her maybe my Nana would visit her in her dreams. Maybe she would teach her how to make some yummy Mexican food or show her how to play a card game, or even how to crochet. 

And you know what? The next morning, she hopped into my bed telling me that she saw my Nana in her dreams, that she was going on a trip to visit her.  Gabriela picked her "I love Nana" shirt to wear today, and I don't think it was a coincidence.

Oh, how I love that little sweetheart of mine and her gigantic, loving heart.