Baby Grover 4.0, Week 33

This week I visited my midwife who had trouble determining if the baby was breech or not. I am having an ultrasound Monday to confirm. She asked me not to try any exercises yet to encourage a change in position since she's not entirely sure the baby isn't already where she is supposed to be. 

After my appointment, I pulled a pelvic muscle running after a shopping cart easton shoved toward some cars in the parking lot. This was not the best choice on my part, but it happened so quickly, I didn't have time to think. This left me hardly able to walk. Each step I took was incredibly painful, I couldn't lift one leg at all. I was unable to roll over in bed; I couldn't even get into bed on my own that first night. 

After lots of rest, hours at the pool, hot rice packs, and tylenol, I am back to 

my normal levels of discomfort. I was getting worried there for a moment about how I could possibly go into labor starting at this level of pain before even my first contraction. 

I had an awful nightmare this week in which I realized my baby had died. In it, I was screaming, sobbing, voiceless, and then I was trapped. It felt like I was trying so hard to escape my dream, but just couldn't until Lane woke me up. I cried and cried in the middle of the night. The anxiety of this fast approaching birth is starting to get to me.  I decided I need to give myself a break from SAND meetings for now. 

I pre-registered online at the hospital this week, hoping to avoid confusion that led to my insurance not being billed last time, and me receiving $20,000 in bills directly. I also informed them of my experience with Simone's stillbirth there, and requested that they not put me in room 21. 

I've started ordering supplies I will need for recovery from this births and have begun packing my hospital bags. One is an on the go bag for just labor. I packed a stash of my own swaddling and receiving blankets and am hoping to have a few more newborn baby hats to add, because I just can't bear to see this baby wrapped up like Simone was. 

I start my testing next week at the hospital. I will be there twice a week to check the baby's movement and amniotic fluid.  This week my pregnancy after loss group starts meeting and I hope to connect with one of my midwives from Simone's birth to give me a walk through of the delivery floor soon. 

I also have this urge to get our house cleaned up. Things are getting closer.