My midwife says it's perfectly within the normal range for baby to not have turned yet, but we want her head down by at least 37 weeks. If she's not head down by then, I will need to make an appointment at the hospital to have her turned. So, until then it is my job to encourage her to turn as much as I can.
First step: acupuncture. The last time I went to acupuncture was the day before Simone was born, so it was a little scary. I went to a new place and in addition to some needles had some moxabustion. It's basically an herb stick that looks like a stick of incense as wide as a cigar. It's lit and the extremely hot coal is placed just next to the pinky toe. This causes a lot of movement for the baby and with multiple sessions, can encourage her to move. So I left with moxa sticks and instructions to do this at home 30 minutes a day.
I am also trying every other trick in the book: yoga poses, rebozo shifting, placing frozen veggies on top of my belly, flashlight and warmth at the bottom. It feels like when you're ready for labor to start and you're just willing to try anything to make it happen no matter how crazy it sounds. Except, I am trying to avoid having a c-section. If that is what it takes to have a healthy, living baby, I will do it willingly, but I want to know that it is a last resort and I did everything possible to have a natural birth.
And on Wednesday, one of my lovely midwives from Simone's birth, who is also a nurse at the hospital, took me on a walk through of the delivery floor. I hadn't been back since Simone and had no idea how I'd react. I'd also been there for Easton's birth and found it helpful to have memories of that as well. It turned out to be not nearly as emotional as I had imagined. I felt more anxious leading up to being there than actually walking around.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to go near room 21, where I birthed Simone. But I decided to do it. What if I had to go down that hall when I returned, and wasn't the purpose of this visit to confront my feelings about returning now, rather than in the throes of labor? As we approached, Gabriela remembered. She pointed out the room and announced that was where her sister was born. It's labeled the Isolation Room, and sadly, the door was closed which likely meant someone inside was experiencing a similar horror.
Thursday night was my first PAL (Pregnancy After Loss) group meeting. I joined this six week group session and I think it's going to be perfect for me. It's a really small group of pregnant women, all of whom have experienced previous loss and who have living children as well. We meet in a yoga studio for stretching, meditation, discussion, journaling, and drawing.
It's the perfect space for me to pay attention to all these conflicting feeling I have. I don't really feel like I fit in at my SAND meetings any more, and I certainly don't think I fit in with ladies who are gleefully experiencing pregnancy. I slept the best I have in a long time the night after my meeting, and I don't think that was a coincidence.
Sunday makes 35 weeks. Monday I have my first non-stress test at the hospital and will see if baby is still breech. I might try to get to the pool before then to do some handstands underwater. That ought to be a sight to see.
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