Before Simone was born, we were all so happy and eagerly awaiting her arrival. I thought we were anxious then, but really it was just excitement.
I was never worried for a moment. Not about my labor, not about our planned Homebirth, or how we would adjust to life as a family of five. I just figured everything would organically come together.
I never thought for a moment that we might not bring our baby home, that she would die. Because who does that happen to, anyway??? Nobody, well certainly not me or my precious family.
So here we are before. Happy, carefree, excited at our midwife's office. When my kids checked for their baby sister's heartbeat, never considering that it might not be there. Before I had to explain to my five year old why we didn't get to bring her baby sister home. Before we all lost our innocence and learned that truly terrible things happen, that what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives turned out, in fact, to be the very worst.
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