Mother's Day

Mother's Day was a quiet day spent with my sweet little family.  Gabriela asked her Daddy to take her to the store so she could buy me flowers. She and Easton each picked out a bunch.  I was in the shower when they came home, but that didn't stop Easton from presenting me with his bouquet of flowers for Mommy.

Everyone gave me handmade cards, which I think are the best.  There's no better way to express yourself. Gabriela made hers all by herself, and Easton dictated his.  There was some counting involved. He said he loved me. And when Lane asked him to say something to let Mommy know how much he loved her, he responded with, "I'm sorry I pushed you".  The kids' cards made me cry sweet happy tears of laughter. Lane's card made me cry tears of gratefulness for the awesome man that I married, and the beautiful children we have together, the life we have created for ourselves.

They worked hard in the kitchen to make me a giant fancy breakfast. Gabriela banished me to the bed until the surprise breakfast was ready. And I was not complaining.  But then she realized that Daddy talked to me about what he was going to make and was crushed that her surprise, was in fact not a surprise. Daddy saved the day by including some on the fly surprise elements of our breakfast including chocolate covered strawberries.  Obviously, this solved the problem.

Later I asked Lane to take a Mother's Day picture of me with Gabriela and Easton.

Our dear friends Heather and Serkan came to spend the evening with us.  They brought all the fixings for some late afternoon picnic snacking and the kids played together while we talked and cried together.  Heather and Serkan are some of our best friends. They aren't nervous about bringing up Simone. They expect us to talk about her and the feelings we are trying to navigate through. I know it isn't easy for anyone, but it had to be especially hard for Heather, who was 36 or 37 weeks pregnant that week.  They don't shy away from helping us carry this burden.  We are so grateful for them.

Many of my friends sent me sweet messages and texts on Mother's Day, letting me know they were thinking of me.  Really, we have the greatest support network, for which I am eternally grateful.

Lane got me a bracelet with a stitched up broken heart and an S charm for Simone.  It's to remind me that there is beauty in brokenness, and that we will heal from this, eventually, and somehow come out stronger - as individuals, a couple, as parents, and a family.

Also, at the beginning of the week, my beautiful necklace arrived in the mail from Tim and Kristie. Kristie so generously offered to purchase me a necklace with Simone's name on it. I found one that could have all three of my beautiful children's names engraved. I treasure it and wear it every day.

That evening, Heather left notes for us with some very thoughtful gifts.  Her note to Lane and me was so heartfelt, honest, and giving of herself, I burst into tears again this Mother's Day.

All in all, it was a day that could have been very depressing if I let it. But I am surrounded by so much love. Love from my husband, my children, my family and my friends. I could feel it so clearly, and it made this day memorable, happy, and reminded me of what a gift it is to be the mother of my children.