Baby Grover 4.0, 19 weeks

As we approached our 20(ish) week ultrasound, I became extremely anxious. I was so terrified something would go wrong at our appointment. Every night for weeks as I tried to fall asleep, I have been willing each part of my baby's body to be formed perfectly.

I thought a lot about whether Gabriela and Easton should even be there, in case they had to break some awful news to us. I eventually decided that, even if something did go horribly wrong, I wouldn't be able to, nor would I want to hide it from our other children. So we all went together. 

As I was fretting over the baby's anatomy, Gabriela talked incessantly  about how much she hoped it was a girl. I stressed over and over again that the reason we were having an ultrasound was to see if the baby was healthy. And that, girl or boy, what we really wanted in our famy was a healthy, living baby. Lane, my sweet husband, took Gabriela aside and said he really, really wanted a baby girl too and might cry if it's not a girl. 

So there we were, and the ultrasound technician spent so much time looking at our baby's heart with furrowed eyebrows. Finally she said baby's fist was on its chest, preventing  her from capturing the age she needed. I was so worried there was something wrong with that precious heart. 

The technician checked the baby very carefully from head to toe, measuring arm and leg bones, checking the brain, the heart, the kidneys, the blood flow, and double checking the placement of the cord in the placenta. She said everything looked perfect. 

The entire time, Gabriela was in awe, seeing the baby's whole body, watching it move tremendously, like all my babies do at this stage. And, of course, she kept asking when we would know if was a boy or a girl. She told us her heart was beating so fast and how excited she was. When the technician told us it looked like Gabriela was getting her wish, Lane and I couldn't help but cry. Another baby girl, in our little family. Our technician even cried too, since she knew about Simone. 

Gabriela is absolutely, over the moon, beyond thrilled to have another baby sister. 

What makes me happy though is when people make comments like, "oh, you get to have a little sister!" Ot to Easton,"you get to be a big brother!"  Gabriela is always quick to agree and say that they do already have a sister and that easton already is a big brother. Makes me a proud mama. 

Obviously, Simone's 20 week ultrasound went splendidly as well. And I know this good news doesn't mean we are in the clear for delivery of a living baby. But it does give Lane and me both great relief temporarily and reduce my anxiety for the time being. I know things will be different for us as my due date approaches. 

I still can't believe we get another chance to have another baby girl in our family.  Baby Girl, you are already so well loved, so wanted. We are all very anxiously awaiting your safe arrival into our family.